How to Break Free From Your Limiting Beliefs
Remove the mental blocks that stop you from living the life you want.
Alright, picture this: there’s a little bird named Lulu (listen...it's late at night, the bird names aren't flowing). Lulu’s just learned to fly, but her wings are still a bit wobbly. One day, she sees a bunch of other birds soaring high above a massive canyon. They make it look effortless, gliding through the air like they own the sky. Lulu gets all excited and decides she wants to try it too. She flutters to the edge, flaps her wings like mad, and leaps. But—oh no—she panics halfway across and makes a crash landing on a scraggly bush halfway down the canyon wall. She’s embarrassed, bruised, and convinced she’ll never be one of those majestic, swooping birds. So, Lulu stays perched on that bush, watching the others fly, thinking, "That’s just not for me." Fast forward a bit: Lulu’s wings get bigger and stronger. She’s got everything she needs to fly higher than ever, but she doesn’t even try. Why? Because she still believes she’s the same shaky-winged bird who crashed all that time ago. She’s so focused on the memory of falling, she doesn’t see the strength she’s built just by holding on.
Cue the big metaphor for life: limiting beliefs. These sneaky little thoughts that keep us tied down, even when we’ve got all the power to break free.
These little beliefs can mess with big dreams like starting your own business, finding the love you deserve, or having the courage to pack up everything and build the life you dream of in another country. They can also stop you from doing the “just-for-fun” stuff, like trying that questionable gelato flavour, or karaoke-ing in public without a single care.
So, how do we ditch these mental ropes? First, let’s explore the different types of limiting beliefs (’cause there are a few), figure out where they’re holding us back, and then learn how to take down those walls brick by brick.
What Exactly Are Limiting Beliefs?
Limiting beliefs come in three main varieties:
- Beliefs about yourself: “I’m not good enough,” “I’m too old/too young,” or “I’d totally fail at that.”
- Beliefs about the world: “They’ll never let me,” “People won’t like it,” or “The system’s rigged, so why bother?”
- Beliefs about life: “It’s too hard,” “The timing isn’t right,” or my personal fave, “Someone already did it better.”
Let’s dive into these categories and figure out the the way to dismantle those different types of walls, shall we?
1. Limiting Beliefs About Yourself
The classic self-doubt. We’ve aalllll been there.
Age:
“I’m too old to start over.”
Or,
“I’m too young for anyone to take me seriously.”
Sound familiar? Newsflash: there’s no such thing as the perfect age for doing something you love. Whether you’re 19 or 99, the only bad time to start is… never. And I KNOW you’ve heard this before and you’re all prepped with the “But Rae, in my case this actually is true…”. To that I say: make it untrue. Our definition of “true” tends to be guided by what has already been done. So if you really want to pursue something and the world has never seen an 86 year old model, well YOU PAVE THE WAY.
Personal Traits:
Maybe you think you’re too awkward, too shy, too inexperienced, or too whatever to go after what you want. Here’s the tea: Everyone’s got quirks. Own yours. That “weird” thing you’re insecure about? It’s what makes you unforgettable. And it’s also what is going to make people relate to you, find you courageous and vulnerably endearing. My thing? I over explain everything – as if I need to justify myself. (And now I’ll just go crawl under the table and hide from the world for a bit.)
Feelings:
We often let emotions trap us. “I’m too anxious to network.” “I’m too shy to meet new people.” “I’m too angry to fix my relationship.” But here’s the ugly truth: the best way to shake those feelings and get over the fear is to do the exact thing you’re avoiding. Basically, don’t give into your emotions. Challenge them.
2. Limiting Beliefs About the World
The world isn’t always rainbows and butterflies, but sometimes we make it seem waaayy worse than it is.
Disapproval:
“What will people think?” Spoiler alert: Most people are too busy obsessing over their own lives to care about yours. And if someone does judge you? That says more about them than it does about you. (It still hurts though – I’m not going to brush this one off). But if people are judging you and talking behind your back, you can have the satisfaction of knowing their life is clearly more exciting only because of you.
Prejudice:
Sure, biases exist. But don’t let them define your story. Prove them wrong by showing up and owning your space.
Thinking You’re “Too Special”:
Sometimes we trick ourselves into thinking, “No one will get my unique brilliance.” Babe, that’s just your fear talking. Take the risk.
3. Limiting Beliefs About Life
Time, timing, and perfectionism are some of the sneakiest belief traps out there.
“I Missed the Boat”:
Whether it’s love, careers, or hobbies, there’s always room for you to join the party. There’s no such thing as “too late” unless you never try.
Time:
“I don’t have time” is often code for “I’m scared of change.” Reframe it: If this goal is worth it, how can you make time for it?
“It’s Impossible”:
Ever told yourself something’s just not in the cards? Before you throw in the towel, ask yourself: Is this true? Or are you just scared to try? And is there an “unconventional” way to make your dream come true?
How to Kick Limiting Beliefs to the Curb
Here’s the fun part. Let’s break those mental ropes and step into your power heels! (Fun fact: I can’t walk in heels….yet. If I can justify the pain, one day I’m going to aim for a Sarah Jessica Parker running-in-heels moment. Hopefully it won’t end in an accident – will keep you posted).
1. Ask, “What If I’m Wrong?”
What if that thing that you think is holding you back… isn’t? You think you’re “too awkward” to date? What if the right person loves your awkwardness? Challenge your assumptions—you might be surprised by the answers.
You think you’re “too awkward” to date? What if the right person loves your awkwardness? Challenge your assumptions—you might be surprised by the answers.
2. Ask, “How Does This Belief Serve Me?”
Limiting beliefs don’t come from nowhere. Often, they’re a weird form of self-protection. For example, if you believe you’re “too old” to switch careers, maybe it’s because the thought of starting fresh is scary and exhausting. Recognize that fear and ask yourself the opposite: Is staying stuck really better?
3. Flip the Script
Take your limiting belief and reframe it. For instance:
- Instead of “I can’t do this because I’m shy,” try “My shyness lets me connect with people on a deeper level.”
- Instead of “I don’t have time,” try “I’ll prioritize what matters to me.”
4. Test the New Belief
Time to experiment! Act as if your new belief is true and see what happens. Think of it like trying on a new outfit—see how it feels. Spoiler alert: It’s probably going to feel amazing like a hot new dress.
You’ve Got This, Girl!
Limiting beliefs are nothing more than stories we tell ourselves. And if you allow yourself to drift back to your childhood and think about your bedtime stories, you’ll remember that there’s a special thing about stories—you can always rewrite them. So do it for the plot babe. Grab that mental pen, scribble out the lies, and start drafting your next chapter. It’s going to be fab. And while you’re knocking down those mental walls, remember the bottom line: always be kind to yourself and those around you!
