How to Live Life by Design

The Year I Decided to Set Just Three Goals

Let’s rewind to a few years ago when I found myself stuck. (Read a about it here if you missed it). And I don’t mean “I need to shake up my weekend routine” kind of stuck – I mean that deep-in-your-soul trapped feeling. I was living in the city I grew up in, surrounded by the same people, doing the same things, and complaining about the same problems. It felt like life had become a never-ending rerun of a show I didn’t even like anymore.

The kicker? I knew I wanted more. I daydreamed about a different life all the time – one where I was running my own business, waking up in a cute little house in the countryside, and, oh, casually drinking cappuccino in Italy like a woman in a perfume commercial. But for some reason, I didn’t do anything about it. I just…stayed.

Why? Because I was overwhelmed. I thought if I couldn’t change everything, I shouldn’t change anything. That’s when I had one of my many “aha” moments: what if I stopped trying to overhaul my entire life and just focused on three things?

So that year, I made a plan. I set three goals – no more, no less. They were big goals, sure, but I promised myself I’d tackle them one quarter at a time. No more overwhelm. No more paralysis.

For example:

• Goal 1: Start building my website to take my side hustle global.
• Goal 2: Save enough to travel to Malaysia
• Goal 3: Move to a new city and open the door to new opportunities.

I spent one quarter focused on each goal, and I left the last quarter as a buffer for life’s inevitable chaos (because life will always chaos, trust me).

And you know what? It worked. By the end of the year, I had launched my website, moved to my new hometown, and saved enough to eat satay in the far east. (I didn’t end up going though because I lost my job, but that’s a story for another day).

The secret wasn’t hustle or luck. It was breaking everything down into manageable pieces – tiny steps I could actually take without crying daily into my iced coffee.

Signs You’re Living Life by Default

Before we dive into designing your dream life, let’s do a quick reality check. Are you living the life you want? Are you living life on autopilot? Are you stuck? Let’s play a game of: “Is This Me?”

1. You wake up every morning and feel…meh. Your routine is fine – not great, not exciting, just there. You get up, you go to work, you come home, make dinner watch TV / read a book, sleep and repeat. You’re basically living the same day on a loop.

2. You feel like you’re waiting for something to happen. You keep telling yourself “someday” or “when I have more time,” but you’ve been saying that for years. Spoiler: You’ll never “find” time. You have to make it.

3. You’re envious of people living their dream lives. You scroll through Instagram, see people launching businesses, posting pictures from their latest vacation, or falling in love, and think, “Must be nice…” But instead of feeling inspired, you just feel stuck.

4. You’re afraid of change. Even though you’re not as happy as you want to be, the thought of doing something different feels scarier & more overwhelming than staying where you are. So you settle.

Listen, no judgment. I’ve been there, and so have most people. But living life by default is like letting someone else drive your car while you nap in the backseat. It’s great for a while until you realize you ended up in a place you didn’t want to be.

How to Live Life By Design: A Step-By-Step Guide

Now that we’ve called out the elephant in the room, let’s tackle the fun part: designing a life you actually want. It’s not as complicated as you think.

Step 1: Be Brutally Honest About What You Want

Before you can design a life that excites you, you need to know what you actually want. Not what your mom wants, or what Instagram tells you to want, but what you want. If I’m being totally honest, this is the most difficult part. Knowing yourself well enough.

Take yourself on a solo date – yes, I’m serious. Go to a cozy coffee shop with your journal and answer these questions:

• What does my dream life look like?
• If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I try?
• What’s one thing I would regret not doing when I’m 80?

Write it all down. Don’t hold back. No “this is unrealistic” thoughts allowed. Dream big, BiGger, BIGGEST. Even if you can’t fathom HOW you’re going to achieve any of it.

Step 2: Pick Three Big Goals

Now it’s time to narrow it down. Look at everything you wrote and pick three big goals for the year. These goals should light you up and stretch you just a little bit outside your comfort zone.

For example:

1. Start your own business. Maybe you want to quit your job and venture into the entrepreneurial life.
2. Move to a new city or country. Tired of your hometown? Maybe it’s time to shake things up.
3. Meet the love of your life. Yes, being intentional about dating can be a goal too!

Step 3: Break It Down Into Bite-Sized Steps

Big goals are sexy, but let’s be honest – they’re also overwhelming. That’s why we break them into tiny steps.

For example, if your goal is to move to another country, here’s how you’d break it down:

• Month 1: Research destinations and visas.
• Month 2: Start a savings plan and set a budget.
• Month 3: Start looking for jobs in said country.

Small steps make big goals feel doable. And doable is where the magic happens.