The Beauty of Detachment
A journey to freedom, clarity and bigger love.
Have you ever felt like life is one big emotional rollercoaster? One moment, you're on cloud nine, and the next, you're plunging into the depths of disappointment. It feels like your happiness depends on everything going just right - from the people you love, to the way your day unfolds, to the coffee order you desperately hope they don’t mess up. But what if I told you there’s a secret to stepping off this exhausting ride? Enter: the art of detachment. Before you roll your eyes and say, "Detachment sounds like giving up or being cold," let me stop you. Non-attachment isn’t about abandoning people, giving up on your dreams, or suppressing your emotions. It’s about freedom. It’s about creating space in your life to truly love, experience joy, and deal with challenges with clarity and grace. Let’s dive into the beauty of detachment and why it might just be the ultimate glow-up for your soul.
Have you ever felt like life is one big emotional rollercoaster? One moment, you’re on cloud nine, and the next, you’re plunging into the depths of disappointment. It feels like your happiness depends on everything going just right – from the people you love, to the way your day unfolds, to the coffee order you desperately hope they don’t mess up. But what if I told you there’s a secret to stepping off this exhausting ride? Enter: the art of detachment.
Before you roll your eyes and say, “Detachment sounds like not caring or being cold,” let me stop you. Non-attachment isn’t about abandoning people, giving up on your dreams, or suppressing your emotions. It’s about freedom. It’s about creating space in your life to truly love, experience joy, and deal with challenges with clarity and grace. As eldest daughters, I know we can alll use a bit of that. Let’s dive into the beauty of detachment and why it might just be the ultimate glow-up for your soul.
Expectations? Who Needs ‘Em?
Think about how much stress comes from unmet expectations. That friend who didn’t text back after they didn’t need your support anymore? The simple appreciation for the 4 course dinner that you worked so hard on but didn’t get? The vacation that was supposed to be magical but ended up being yet another thing you had to manage so you never go to really relax? Expectations set us up for a world of hurt.
Non-attachment doesn’t mean you stop caring or stop trying. It means you approach life with a flexible, open mindset. Instead of clinging to one specific outcome, you accept that things might unfold differently. And guess what? That’s okay. When you let go of rigid expectations, you give yourself the gift of peace – no matter how things turn out.
Feel All the Feels – But Don’t Let Them Hijack You
We’re human. We cry during The Notebook, rage-quit our skincare routines after one breakout, and laugh so hard at memes that our stomachs hurt. Emotions are beautiful, but they can also turn into traps when we let them control us.
With detachment, you don’t suppress or ignore your feelings. You let them arise naturally, but you also keep some distance. You recognize, “Ah, there’s sadness” or “oof there’s anger.” This perspective helps you process emotions without becoming their hostage. Instead of spiralling into “Why does this always happen to me?!” you might calmly acknowledge, “This sucks right now, but it won’t suck forever.” And trust me, that kind of clarity is a superpower.
The World Isn’t Your Concept Board
You know that Pinterest-perfect version of life we all carry in our heads? The one where every relationship is flawless, every project is a success, and every moment is aesthetic? Non-attachment invites you to let go of that imaginary storyboard.
Reality is waaayyy more messier than our concepts of it – and that’s not a bad thing. When you stop trying to fit life into neat little boxes, you start to see the beauty of what is. You notice the charm in imperfection, the lessons in challenges, and the unexpected joys that come when you stop scripting everything.
Compassion > Anger
The problems of the world can feel overwhelming. Whether it’s global issues or personal drama, it’s easy to let anger consume you. But detachment shifts your perspective. Instead of reacting with frustration, you begin to respond with compassion.
You see someone acting out, and instead of labeling them as “the worst,” you wonder, “What pain must they be carrying to act this way?” This doesn’t mean you tolerate toxic behaviour (boundaries are still your best friend), but it does mean you stop carrying anger around like the season’s most coveted handbag. Compassion feels lighter, and honestly? It looks better on you.
Happiness: Enjoy It. Don’t Chase It.
If happiness were a person, they’d probably be that flaky friend who’s super fun when they show up but impossible to pin down. The art of detachment teaches us to stop chasing happiness like it’s a prize at the end of a scavenger hunt.
Instead, you savour it when it’s here. You soak up every giggle, every golden sunset, and every perfect bite of cake. And when it fades – as it always does – you let it go without clinging. Because guess what? It’ll circle back around when you least expect it for another moment of spontaneous fun.
Control Freaks, Take a Seat
Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to micromanage the universe. (*reluctantly raises hand*) We like to think we’re in control, but life is full of curveballs. Non-attachment doesn’t mean giving up – it means learning to flow.
When you stop trying to control everything, you make room for the magic of life to unfold. You trust that even when things don’t go as planned, there’s something valuable in the experience. Think of the experience that life sends you as a clue and you’re the collector who needs to make sense of it. It’s like stepping into a river and letting the current guide you, instead of paddling upstream like a maniac.
Love, But Bigger
Here’s the plot twist: detachment doesn’t shrink your heart. It makes it grow. When you stop clinging to people and outcomes, your love becomes more generous, more expansive, and – dare I say – more bad*ss. You can finally give your love without the expectation of receiving anything in return.
Detachment creates a sense of spaciousness in your life. It’s like Marie Kondo-ing your soul. You clear out the clutter of worry, fear, and overthinking, and what’s left is a peaceful, open space.
You stop loving people for who you want them to be OR what they can give you in return, and start loving them for who they are. You stop needing relationships to “complete you” and start showing up as a whole, radiant person. And when you see unnecessary suffering in the world, your heart opens even wider. You feel compelled to help – not because you’re attached to fixing everything, but because your love is just that big.
Spaciousness = Contentment
Detachment creates a sense of spaciousness in your life. It’s like Marie Kondo-ing your soul. You clear out the clutter of worry, fear, and overthinking, and what’s left is a peaceful, open space.
In this space, you find a kind of contentment that isn’t tied to external things. It’s not about that dream house, dream job, or dream partner. It’s about the quiet, steady joy of being alive and connected to the world around you.
So, How Do You Get There?
Start Small: Practice detachment in low-stakes situations. Didn’t get the parking spot you wanted? Let it go. The blueberry bagels sold out? Not to worry you’ll try a maple bagel today.
Meditate: Meditation helps you observe your thoughts and emotions without getting swept away by them. To do this, imagine swapping seats with your therapist and observing how you act.
Question Your Beliefs: Are you holding onto rigid ideas about how life should be? Challenge them.
Embrace Change: Remind yourself that change is the only constant. Everything, good and bad, is temporary.
Love Freely: Show up with an open heart, but don’t make your happiness depend on others’ actions.
Non-attachment isn’t about becoming a detached robot; it’s about living with more joy, more love, and more freedom without expecting any set outcome. You focus on the giving. Not the receiving. It’s about walking through life with an open hand rather than a clenched fist. And honestly? That’s the kind of energy the world needs more of.
So let’s all take a deep breath, release what we can’t control, and let life surprise us. Because when you stop gripping so tightly, you realize that life is infinitely more beautiful than you ever imagined. So with that last thought, I’ll leave you until next week. And lastly, as always, remember be kind to yourself and those around you!
